Let’s Do It Again

While I favor this expression when being sung by The Staple Singers, I loathe it while being spoken to me by a receptionist from my surgeon’s office. It seems as though the sample that was taken, ever-so-painfully, from my massive mass was too small a sample to yield a conclusive diagnosis.  So now, I’m in a little bit of a pickle.  I mean, either way, I’m planning on returning to Memorial Hospital on Wednesday of next week to go in for surgery and get a much larger chunk of this thing out of me (which doesn’t sound like the worst idea), but I’m not looking forward to it.

What was supposed to happen? I was supposed to hear back from the biopsy and the blood sample and hear the words “negative” and “negative”.  The word “inconclusive” was not in my schedule.  It was not supposed to happen.  I even made sure to let the doc know to take more if he needed to – however uncomfortable it was for me.  I’d have gladly spent another 30 minutes of uncomfortable prodding to save me a 120-mile round trip, another day out of the office, and another five days of waiting for results.  *Sigh*.  Here’s where we are now:

I get blood test results tomorrow.  Now, if the blood tells us that there is no indicator of cancer (or if results are inconclusive), I’m guessing we’re having the 2nd biopsy anyway.  If the blood tells us that there is evidence of cancer then we still need to wait until Wednesday to have the mass biopsied to see if that mass is cancerous or if it is a hernia. You see, the ideal situation is that the mass in my groin is a hernia and the mass in my lung is Teratoma.  This would call for an easy surgery to fix the hernia and maybe a surgery to remove the Teratoma mass (although this can be considered “elective” by some people.  We call these people “Insurance Companies”).  Now, the rule is that if the Teratoma is complicating health issues or creates a health risk then it is no longer “elective” surgery but necessary or emergency surgery.  I’d say that a month-long chronic cough which results in an incarcerated hernia should be grounds for “necessary” surgery, lest we wait until an eyeball pops out of my head from coughing too hard.

I don’t know… I mean, either way, I need at least a surgery, but if this turns out to be a hernia in my groin I will be wishing that it was just removed in the E.R. when I went in.  Co-payments and E.R. fees and inpatient charges and prescription medicinces add up.  Quickly.  And I haven’t even been footing the bill most of the time.  My mom keeps insisting on paying for stuff like friends who fight over the check at lunch.

I just want this to find its resolution.  Let’s find out what the f*** is going on and fix it.  Please.